Engagement Rings and Other Murky Areas: Should the man surprise the woman with an engagement ring of his choice?

August 30, 2010 § Leave a comment

Engagement Rings and Other Murky Areas

With so many conflicting ideologies on the do’s and don’ts of proposals in the modern age, there can often be grey areas on what is proper etiquette.

Should the man surprise the woman with an engagement ring of his choice?

In a perfect world, a man would know the woman he is going to marry so well that he will magically pick the engagement ring of her dreams, and genuinely, pleasantly surprise her with that little velvet box. But in the real world, that is not always the case. Remember, this is the ring that will adorn her finger for the rest of your lives, why not begin your marriage as you mean to continue it, together. Surprises are always welcome, but it is perfectly acceptable to include your bride-to-be in the selection process. This will ensure her happiness and cut out the hassle of resizing. But is this proper etiquette? Yes. As times have changed, so have the rules.

Does a man ever wear an engagement ring?

In most cultures, it is only the female that receives an engagement ring to solidify their betrothal, but there have been some notable exceptions.

When international soccer star David Beckham became engaged to his wife Victoria Beckham, he presented her with a 3 carat marquise cut diamond engagement ring, flanked by baguette diamonds on each side. And then presented himself with a matching male counterpart; a band adorned with 7.5 carats worth of diamonds.

Most recently, Canadian singer Michael Buble decided to honor his fiancé, Luisana Lopilato, by wearing an engagement ring of his own. In Argentina, Lopilato’s homeland, it is tradition for the couple to exchange rings for an engagement, much like during the wedding ceremony.

So gentlemen, it is perfectly proper to wear an engagement ring of your own, and can be a beautiful way to display your commitment when your fiancé is not on hand. But sorry Beckham, at least make sure you lady has the bigger diamond.

Who buys the groom’s wedding band?

Here is another tradition that has changed with the times. Traditionally the groom would purchase the engagement ring and subsequently the bride’s wedding band as well. However, unless the groom is planning on using a family heirloom for himself, it was up to the bride to select and purchase his band.

Today it is much more common for the couple to purchase their wedding bands together, just like any other part of the wedding preparations. With so many different styles of wedding bands, who can blame a person for wanting to participate now that the surprise factor is over?

So whether you have the engagement ring, or are just beginning to look, remember that traditions are always changing and nothing is set in stone. Just forget what you should do, and do what you want to do.

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